thank you so much for this, I'm often in the initiator and closer position and it's frustrating! one way I've seen people excuse their lack of IRL social participation is by saying that they're introverted, as though introverts don't also need social interaction. it makes me sad for sure. I'm saving this post to share with friends as needed!
I feel your pain! My introverted friends are actually THE BEST at making and keeping plans with me because they are much more intentional about pacing their social plans and much less likely to spread themselves too thin. So I think a lot of folks are calling other things (social anxiety, depression, general struggles from within a crumbling empire) introversion when there’s something deeper going on there. I hope your friends are able to match your energy and prioritize time for connection soon 💕
I remember this falling apart in the late 1980s and early 1990s. People were BUSY. People hated to commit. As the years progressed, it got harder and harder to get together, and lord knows we tried. It wasn't children. It wasn't the internet or cell phones. It was an attitude that being friends with someone didn't necessarily involve spending any time with them.
We once invited a couple to our place for dinner. They came a couple of times. Then, we never heard from them again. Years later, another friend of hours said that they had asked him what had happened. Why hadn't we called them again. I remember saying something polite, but I kept thinking that they had our phone number, they were moderately intelligent people, why hand't they simply called us? I was raised by wolves, but I understand this. I have no idea of what they were raised by.
I just shared this with a friend and when I did I said “Makkah is intimidatingly wise”. My friend was like that is a great compliment you should tell her directly so here I am!!
thank you so much for this, I'm often in the initiator and closer position and it's frustrating! one way I've seen people excuse their lack of IRL social participation is by saying that they're introverted, as though introverts don't also need social interaction. it makes me sad for sure. I'm saving this post to share with friends as needed!
I feel your pain! My introverted friends are actually THE BEST at making and keeping plans with me because they are much more intentional about pacing their social plans and much less likely to spread themselves too thin. So I think a lot of folks are calling other things (social anxiety, depression, general struggles from within a crumbling empire) introversion when there’s something deeper going on there. I hope your friends are able to match your energy and prioritize time for connection soon 💕
I remember this falling apart in the late 1980s and early 1990s. People were BUSY. People hated to commit. As the years progressed, it got harder and harder to get together, and lord knows we tried. It wasn't children. It wasn't the internet or cell phones. It was an attitude that being friends with someone didn't necessarily involve spending any time with them.
We once invited a couple to our place for dinner. They came a couple of times. Then, we never heard from them again. Years later, another friend of hours said that they had asked him what had happened. Why hadn't we called them again. I remember saying something polite, but I kept thinking that they had our phone number, they were moderately intelligent people, why hand't they simply called us? I was raised by wolves, but I understand this. I have no idea of what they were raised by.
You've inspired me to combine all my half-plans into one solid plan. Sending firm invites to a bbq to everyone on my 'would like to hang' list :)
As the initiator and often the closer, I feel every word of this - thank you for articulating it so perfectly.
I just shared this with a friend and when I did I said “Makkah is intimidatingly wise”. My friend was like that is a great compliment you should tell her directly so here I am!!
omg thank you so much Hailey! Means the world coming from you
I read this and texted my friend to take her up on an invite I was initially not sold on! Great reminder.
this MADE MY DAY! i hope yall have a wonderful time
Makkah, I so appreciate your writing! I loved your podcast, and miss it. Glad to learn from your wisdom in a different format now. :)
thank you, sarah!
I felt every word. ❤️
Thanks for reading! 💕